The shocking news arrived this morning, ‘did you hear about Anthony Bourdain?’ Immediate curiosity and a wince of pain.

‘Suffering, loneliness, despair, and worthlessness is a human condition felt by us all. To share yours and be willing to listen to others is the alchemy that transforms dying into living.’ my friend @bewellbyalanakessler wrote upon the news of Mr @anthonybourdain suicide.

‘Being joyful and happy takes actual work. Work that isn’t noticed or praised by others. But work that doesn’t leave kids without fathers and mothers..’

A year and a half ago I was at the bottom. Depressed, broke, lost the love of my life, hated my job, myself, and loathed my everyday. Thank God I had some friends to turn to. It seems Anthony Bourdain did not.

It took everything I had when I wrote my buddies asking for help. I asked them for money but behind it all was worthlessness, depression, despair, un-fulfillment. Traits that not even Anthony Bourdain wanted to share with someone. Was he that alone ? Not one person on planet earth he could open up to ?

Well he did something spectacular and by now you likely understand Anthony Bourdain was found dead by apparent suicide in his hotel in Paris. On the road shooting his renowned documentary show.

On the road.

These three words millions and millions of people dream about all day. If only, I wish, what if I could be….

On the road conjures up unlimited imaginations of wind in the hair, humid desert landscapes, exotic locales, airports, trains, cars, motorbikes, food, drinks, and ultimate freedom. Yet as we learned today, they truly don’t matter.

Our idol, the best, a legend, a great human being, exceptional talent, a brilliant man just a few words many described him by, yet full of pain wasn’t one.

Another lesson we must go through in pain to learn, that all the external factors the money, the freedom, the ability to do anything you want doesn’t bring true or lasting joy, freedom, happiness or contentment.

Thank God I had some friends to turn to. It seems Anthony Bourdain did not.

Being joyful and happy takes actual work. Work that isn’t noticed or praised by others. But work that doesn’t leave kids without fathers and mothers, parents without kids, friends without friends, and lovers without lovers.

Everyday we must be committed to our own happiness and joy first. What brings that to you may be completely different from anyone around you, and thats ok. One must find it and define it for themselves, then go after it everyday.

My friends have a company @arriveathappy and arriveathappy.com which highlight and provide 5 pillars to overall happiness that we can work on everyday. None of those pillars are money, long work hours or being on the road ! Dedicate yourself to you and your needs. It starts with us.